Realizing that snaggle-toothed vampires with hula-hoops are so last year, fashion house Miu Miu has chosen Katie Holmes to be their new spokesmodel because she’s a “luminous icon” of “mystery and theatricality.” (Read: We just want to hold Suri Cruise.) Now, I’m no art critic, but I’m pretty sure the flame Katie’s holding her hand in represents Tom Cruise for obvious reasons I won’t even get into; He loves S’mores. Ha, just kidding, he loves penis. Definitely penis.